I really do want to die but i have responsibilities im torn in two?

Your grieving; everyone does it differently.. there is no right or wrong way to feel. You need to go through grief counseling/cles.. You will never forget your lost love of course and you shouldn't; but since he was unable to continue living his life you need to live yours not only for your daughter but for yourself and him as well. He would have wanted you to continue on and to find happiness. It won't always stay this dark. We never really lose the ones we love.. your just carrying him with you differently now. Good luck.